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Trying to talk Tom into looking at something more appropriate. Drove around and got honked at because all our friends and family wrote 'JUST MARRIED' all over the windows. Got to the hotel, Tom was so proud to check us in as Mr & Mrs. He's such a sappy guy and I love him so.Then things went bad. Tom carried me across the threshold and laid me on the bed. We kissed passionately. I yelped when I felt his hand touch my breasts. He smiled and thought it was cute. But he wouldn't stop. I knew what he wanted. Journal, Tom and I were both raised devout Southern Baptist. I know I'm having a harder time with this than Tom is. I made myself just lie still while Tom started undressing me. I know I was supposed to be helping him but I just couldn't. When he got all my clothes off he touched me down there. I froze. I'm so ashamed. We're married and I was afraid to let him touch me. I couldn't get daddy's face out of my mind. I was going to just lie there and let him do what he. "Take a look, at the real me. I am more a Sue than a Sam. I spent allweekend with Barb as the person I want to be, Sue. I laid out by herpool in a cute two piece bikini swimsuit. We went out and I wore lovelydresses and high heels, with pretty panties and bras underneath. We didmake love like you said. I spread wide for her and loved it. I'm notthe guy you think I am. I'm more woman than man, at least emotionallyand spiritually. I've hidden my true self for so long, it's hard toknow who I am, but I know I was truly happy this weekend. That's why myhair is curly. And my darker lips are from my coral lipstick I wore forher, with matching polish too. After being so free all weekend, it isjust sad to have to hide again, but what can I do? Even telling youtwo, my best friends, makes me so scared and I feel like I am fallingoff a cliff. But I can't go on like this, trying to be someone I'mnot."I burst out in tears again. Both women came to me and gave me hug,Denise lightly kissing my.
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